Path of the Goddess

Its been awhile since I last updated... Guess i've just been in kinda a funk lately. Was kicked out of Dad's house, I had an ear infection that was so bad that I couldn't hear a thing, called in sick for work and went to the doctor... and apparently that didn't fly. Then my alternator went out. But Mr Aries helped me get that fixed. Stayed at his place a couple of days and went to a clean and sober living home....

Two weeks later, I got ran off the road going 60 mph. Ek. That was NO fun. No fun at ALL. Everyone is ok, no worries. And I've already got another car. (Which I think this has to do with me manifesting a new car... beware! Be careful what you ask for! You may just get it!) Now... things are just going to be tight the next two months, but that is ok because I know I will be provided for.

Telepathy... Crazy stuff. Am actually doing it! Reading thoughts=weird. But grounding myself is important right now because of everything that has happened. (Oh yea, Mr Aries broke up with me the night before the crash because he can't "feel")

My world has been topsy turvy, but thats myown fault, and my own crazy way of thinking about things, need to ground myself, need to take a break!

Ssssoooo... its been a few days since I last updated. BUT, needless to say I had a reading from a friend that scared the living daylights out of me. So I had to accept it. Took a few days, but Mother knew that, and she's been beside me the whole way. And we are back to our usual banter. She's been there awhile, she got me sober, and brought me down to california. She's been my guardian angel. And has finally revealed who she is to me now that I've started dating her son XD.

Got to spend Friday with Mr Aries, yay! I cooked him dinner, and he loves me no matter what craziness I spurt out. Then I came home to find drunken energy invading my room, and everything that my stepmom thought was out of place, thrown on my bed. THEN the phones stopped working... but the person i needed to talk to, the phone went through. Salt water! Can't believe I didn't think of that.... Funny thing is, I don't think she remembers..... and all the notes that I've been getting with "Love, Dad" on them, have been in HER hand writing. I've just plain decided that my stepmother is mother fucking crazy! And now I'm seeing things in a new light, and its not quite so bad anymore.

Sat, was supposed to spend time w/ mr. aries, but fate had something else decided for both of us. LL finally showed up at the Alano club after disappearing for days. She lost her baby. So we talked about it. Got her to calm down. And found out that she's seen our entire relationship flash before her eyes. Even Genie's prediction that had me wierded out. SO. Mother's finally made her point, and I'm going to start taking care of myself. But it doesn't mean I'm not going to try and prevent it from happening. (And I'm saying that as Mother knocks me on the head... its entertaining having a spirit guide who likes to joke with you in a loving way, and its one I get to converse with regularly...)

Fuck.. I just realized yesterday was 10/10... new beginnings. And BOY did new beginnings happen! I'm tired.

So, the evening started out with going to Starbucks to meet Genie and her soon to be new beau. She wanted me to read him for her. And I saw the same connection I've seen with Mr. Aries, and then also the connection between my OTHER friend and her boyfriend, who is older than her also and has multiple years free from drugs... Ok... so three of us are dating older men, all who have many years clean time... If you don't know 12 step programs, this sort of thing is looked down upon because it is usually one using the other, but the connection is THERE, and all three of the guys treat us like we are Queens! OIY! (but hey! the people i've begun telling about Mr. Aries get this funny look of knowing on there face and go "OH!"LOL) The whole entire synchronicity of the events just blows my mind away.

Anyways, back to the evening.... Went to a meeting, and Genie's father was there, going through me to reach her. And he did! It was amazing, and VERY VERY touching. And then he left, and a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

But THEN, I started channeling Genie's soon to be new beau's little brother. I knew information he hadn't told me. He was amazed. And tripping on it for a long period after that. but after that, I was DONE. Or so I thought:(. I was content going over to Mr. Aries' and just hanging out and I get this call from a young girl in the 12 step programs I'm in, we'll call her Mouse, and she was feeling suicidal. Funny thing is, after I had gotten off the phone with her earlier that day, I noticed a red mark on my right wrist, and it felt like something was scratching it. I knew she was feeling like she wanted to cut her wrist. So I put a prayer out for her. The mark disappeared and she called me. So, I had to leave Mr. Aries and go and calm her down, get her something to eat, and give her that glimmer of hope for her to cling to. Then I went back to Mr. Aries' house who lavished all the attention on me I could ever want, which was really refreshing as I had extended myself so far. Not intentionally, because I did tell people no Tarot tonight, and had to tell another spirit no, not yet. But ya know... things just like to happen!

If any of this made any sense.

Genie and Shaggy both approve of Mr Aries. That was a given though. Full moon last friday. That was a trip. Had dinner with Mr. Aries. Got to meet some of his friends (they like me!), ran into more fellow psychics/pagans. And learned the importance of shielding. I know where my heart is. But when you have someone there staring at you and images are placed in your mind. Its scary. I'm not sure if he was intentionally doing it or not. But the fact of the matter is that he was trying to place his will over mine, luckily, I've discovered how to discern my feelings from those of others. With the full moon, it was intensified, however, I knew that and of course ended the night with Mr. Aries.

Sometimes we have to go back to our past to remind ourselves why we left. I was led to Sacramento for a reason, to get out of the rut that Placerville had stuck me in. And I'm now conversing with one of my spirit guides. Mr. Aries' mother. She's the spirit that's been following me around, and oh boy does she have a sense of humor!!! She's all caught up in her craftiness right now. Which is kind of nice, seeing as she died years ago, at least I know she approves, just as Mr. Aries said she would.

Things are mellow today. Focusing on what needs to get done and not worrying about tomorrow....

Being with Mr. Aries is bliss. Absolute, and complete bliss. Synchronicity in our lives... uh oh...

But then emotions get all tied up, I get caught up in my head, and think about it way too much. And scare myself into thinking its going to end up like all the others. Then I remind myself that I calm down when I'm around him. But its also stupid worry about it when he's not around. I guess it is just too new for me to be completely comfortable. But I do see his walls coming down, and we shall see where it is going.

So... I discovered it was going to cost massive amounts of money to fix my teeth, but the end result is so worth it. Thank the Goddess for my stepmother! And I have a second job, working for my Stepbrother-in-law. And he understands my musings about my step mom. I have a feeling we're going to get along great! THEN, my Credit Card called to settle the balance on my credit card, so my dad paid that and I just have to pay him back the 60% plus the interest he pays which is a third of what I was paying. The ability to manifest financial security is possible! You just have to let it go and take the necessary steps! My advice to you: Let go and Let God/dess.

Its amazing when someone breaks down your walls. The walls you've had up for who knows how long to keep people from coming in and knowing who you are. Yes, The Aries broke down more walls last night, and only because he was willing to share his feelings, which were the same feelings I was feeling. Those feelings of fear. Because of it, my bolt and run syndrome is not manifesting itself today. Perhaps we're so connected that our emotions are getting in-twined in our own, thus the reason we can't read each other because we are confused ourselves.

This last eclipse is bringing many wonders into my life, and the lives of many others. If you pay attention, its amazing how stars can affect a life!

Our world is changing. And something happened 8 months to a year ago to awaken a lot of people. Myself included. But what? A shift of some sort? Lots of changes going on in many peoples lives, some may it is the age of Aquarius, I say it is our world beginning to ascend to the next age, influenced by the age aquarius, Where our world will go, we shall see, and an interesting journey it shall definitely be!

Today marks 8 months of sobriety. It also marks more new beginnings in my life. I had a girl last night come into my life, who also knows the tarot. Much better than I do, but still knows it. So I have a female to bounce ideas off of. Problems still arise at home, but now I have hope because of the reading she did for me. Hope that my father will be made whole again...

New beginnings also bring leaps of faith. A leap of faith that I won't be hurt, that things will work out. But also that overwhelming fear that it won't. Geanie tells me not to let age get to me, because the relationship is right where it needs to be at this time. She also knows I care about him, I had to in order to let my shields down around him last night. I had no idea the shields I had put up were that strong.

Geanie continues to make spectacular progress! She's realizing what she needs to work on in herself, and her blockages that she needs to work through. I just love watching her grow on her Awakening, and I get to be there with her for it. And she reads me like a book! The gift that girl has is amazing! Then there is her daughter. Little pagan in training. We were in a shop yesterday, and she points to a goblet with a pentacle saying "mommy! you should get that!" Needless to say, Geanie was very happy and pleased. Apparently her daughter has also been playing with her sacred geometry quartz. We have an apprentice!

Possibly getting a job in the cosmetic dept at Macy's, put good thoughts out towards it. It would be a large change, but it is something that I've gotta do. And if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it in a place I would enjoy myself.

Not much else besides the fact that I'm stalling on my chores, so I'm off!

This is my journey. However far off into outer space it may seem at times, this is me. I try to keep myself grounded, but like every human being, I'm not perfect. My past is the past, this is the present, and the future is yet to be told. I am a natural Empath, discovering the art of tarot, and having other gifts being undeveloped. Trying to untangle my emotions from the emotions I pick up from others has been a trying journey, but I'm slowly sorting it out.

Spirits, entities, whatever you call them, are there. You just have to be open to them! Contacting them is a journey I am yet to embark upon.

I may embelish a bit, but that is for sheer entertainment. The pisces in me calls out for creativity to be called upon, so discerning fact from fiction will be your job, if you choose to take it on.

My life is a fantasy, with all the twist and turns one could ever hope for, and I am truely blessed. The many avenues I have to learn and that have been shown to me are amazing. Because I'm able to learn from those all around the world. Where my journey takes me is still a mystery. Where I am at, and what I am able to do, gives me a purpose, and a little laughter is good for the heart.